For my second post, I'm going to assume the average reader knows about the system, upline, and how the basic process of recruiting and retaining IBO's works. I'll get into those details as they relate to my specific situation later... however I figure there are a lot more prolific bloggers out there who have already documented that.
One of the primary tactics upline assholes use to get us otherwise normal, rational, common sense adults throw away our independent thinking and lock into their "system", is to find out what's important to that person and then sell how "the business" is the ONLY way to achieve that goal. The good (and by good I mean devious and manipulative) asshole upline will also identify any weakness or character attributes the person has (lack of confidence, a desire to be liked) and use them as pressure points to undermine the prospect and set themselves up as the answer to their problems.
The concept that the husband is "head" of the household, that he should provide for his family is how they hooked me. My upline diamond turd-licker could easily see that I was a new husband and father just getting started in the world. I didn't want my wife to have to work a 40 hour week while our young children were being taken care of by someone else. I wanted her to be able to home with the kids to enjoy their youth... and for the kids to enjoy the time with their mommy. Is any of this starting to sound familiar yet??
So he showed me how in 2-5 years I could "bring my wife home". That it would take a lot of work but that I could make it. But the ONLY way I could make it is with his counsel and advise. All I had to do to get that access is to make sure I bought several audios, a couple books, subscribed to voicemail, joined a website, and purchased a supply of business support material so that I could be ready for my prospects. It was only a few hundred dollars every month. And only the losers that weren't going anywhere with the business didn't see the logic of that. And if I were serious about providing for my family, wasn't the investment worth it?
Well, I was hooked, I wasn't going to let someone tell me I wasn't serious about providing for my family. Especially after the diamond douche bag compared sending my wife to work every day as slavery... He said so you say you are serious about being a good husband... then how can you send your wife to work for another man. To put her under his control and authority? To make her trade her precious time for money, wasn't that selfish of me? When I didn't immediately agree with his view of work, he asked me what I thought of my boss. Well at the time I did have a jerkwad boss, we didn't get along or agree. I told him we argued and constantly fought. He goes think about it like this... working with a jerk boss is a lot like wrestling. You are locked in combat with a sweaty stinky opponent. Do you really want to think of your wife in that kind of a situation with another man.. and this is a direct quote... "you don't want to think of his sweaty balls rubbing on her". He went on to say... that's how you have to think of your wife at work... otherwise you won't sell out to the business.
I look back now and realize I should have punched the guy in the face and walked out. I should have told him that my wife is a smart, talented, educated medical professional. She provides help and service to those in need. She didn't work because she had to. She worked because it was her choice. Instead, I let him plant the seed that my wife was not a person, but an object, a possession to be protected and managed. I didn't know it then, but this was the beginning of a long painful road for me.